He/She Cheated!!! Now what???

Should I stay? If so, why should I stay? Should I leave? Guys, if your significant other has cheated on you, you should think about the situation and ask yourself a LONG series of questions... Did you actually catch them? Or worse, did you catch them in the act? Sometimes it’s easier to deal with a problem if you don’t witness it in person because psychologically the scenario may haunt you forever (or until the relationship does end).  Did your partner actually tell you that it happened and that it was a horrible mistake? If you have a relationship that’s exceptionally special to you, then you should realize that your partner has made a horrible mistake and forgive, but not forget. Wounds take time to heal, but they can and DO heal.

               How long have you been together officially: weeks, a few months, years? If not long at all, LEAVE IMMEDIATELY. The person is wasting your time and does not respect you at all. On the other hand, if the two of you have been together for a decent amount of time, it may be that your partner is just unhappy, sexually or emotionally and just needs comfort. If you can work through that, then all smiles to you; Congratulations! If not, you should look at yourself and ask: “is it me or them?” If the answer is yes to either question, maybe you should exit the relationship because there is the ‘wasting time issue’, and life is too short.

               Were you completely shocked when you found out? Did you kind of already suspect that it was happening? If you expected that it was going on you should know that your partner is “not that into you”; take the hint and break up. An unhappy relationship is not a good thing. I’d rather be unhappy by myself than unhappy with a mate. Along with that, ask yourself if you are happy with the relationship because this may be the excuse you need to escape the relationship if you are not happy.

               Ask yourself, “Would I cheat back, if I could get away with it?” If you answer yes to this question, you most definitely shouldn’t be with your mate, because you are not into them in a sexual/romantic way. Maybe you should just be friends (which isn’t a bad thing), or just be in an open relationship if all you’re going to do is cheat! You could also be ‘friends with benefits.’

               A female friend of mine says, “Stay! Everyone is human and makes mistakes, but if the cheating is continuous you should leave.” I agree with this 100%, and it wraps up this column. Good luck with your relationship, but remember that YOU are most important. If you don’t love yourself, how are you going to love someone else?

Amen.

SPRING OUTTA STRESS

by Fauver Colton

Okay, so April is the United States’ National Stress Awareness Month, and therefore, its only appropriate for there to be a section dedication to stress in The UB’s  Scribe. You will learn what stress is and what causes it along with discovering ways to ease stress.

What is stress? Stress is your body's way of responding to any kind of demand. It can be caused by both good and bad experiences.

There are four main types of stress, which are caused by a variety of things, but the worst types are internal and fatigue.

Internal Stress - Have you ever caught yourself worrying about things you can do nothing about or worrying for no reason at all? This is internal stress and it is one of the most important kinds of stress to understand and manage. Internal stress is when people make themselves stressed.

Fatigue and Overwork - This kind of stress builds up over a long time and can take a hard toll on your body. It can be caused by working too much or too hard at your job(s), school, or home. It can also be caused by not knowing how to manage your time well or how to take time out for rest and relaxation.

Everyone would love to avoid, and more realistically decrease their stress level. Here are some great ways to do just that!

1. Take deep breaths using your belly when you feel frustrated, angry, or emotionally unstable.
2. Take a walk, make sure you are alone, and do this regularly.
3. Stretching is very important to the de-stressing process.
4. Writing is very useful, whether it be poetry, writing letters to a friend, or keeping a journal. When you write you release subconscious emotions that you didn’t realize you had until they are on paper.
5. Eat healthy. Healthier.
6. Get a hobby, a hobby that you enjoy, something that will take your mind off things that do cause stress.
7. Make a ‘to-do list’. It is very important for people who are not well organized.
8. Also, hang out with your funniest friend more often. It’ll rub off and you’ll become more light hearted and less up-tight.

TIP: A great trick I learned for temporary stress relief and something that can calm you down is to close your eyes and gently put your fingers on the eyelids for one minute. Gently pinch the fleshy part of your hand between your thumb and index finger for about a minute, as well. Try it, it works!

Stress is inevitable, it cannot be beat, but it can be decreased. The best advice is to live in the moment. Carpe diem. Seize the day, and don’t dwell in the past, even two minutes ago, don’t dream in the future. Live for today.